What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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