dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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