Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
