By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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