How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
