I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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