FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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