Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
