dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize