Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
