Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
