Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
