I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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