I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
