alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
