he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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