Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
