I need to stop coming to work sober
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
