I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I could have mohawked her pubes.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
