She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The Olympian is in my bed
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
