he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
