You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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