It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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