operation harelip BJ is a go
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
