Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize