Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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