Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
