Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
