either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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