If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize