ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
