pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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