I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
