If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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