i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Semen is not good for contacts.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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