she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
