You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
