Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
