no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize