i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
