I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
3 2 1 whiskey
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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