I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize