Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
