If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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