Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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