My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
