i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize