He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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