If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
