Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
