smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize