I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
