Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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