Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
we're so committed to being not committed
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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