Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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