does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
