Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
