we have pet lesbian snakes
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
