first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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