only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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