I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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