is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
