in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
