I cockslap morals
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
