hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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