therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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