Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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