i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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